Everything Points to God

I wanted to tell you about what is going on with my life. I keep getting questions about why I have changed so quickly, how come I believe in God again all of a sudden.

 If you have heard my mushroom podcast and Youtube video then you might  have an idea why. Not only did God show me Jesus and heaven in a vision, but things I could not explain and could not be a coincidence. Besides that, God started calling me to him and at that point, I would be a complete fool to ignore him. Change is inevitable and death is necessary for rebirth. I have been going through a rebirth, a retelling of a story that used to be really sad. God, Yahweh, Jesus, is rewriting my story with me. He is helping me purify the things in my life that were in darkness, to reveal truth and light and to bring me the life I desire. 

January of 2024 I was completely lost and pretty depressed as much as I wanted to pretend I wasn’t. I was having nightmares, my body was unhealthy, I didn’t know God and I felt so stuck. I had left my job that was physically and mentally hurting me and I just shut down. My hair was actually starting to turn white due to vitamin deficiency, and I was too poor to buy more than $30 worth of groceries. There were days I couldn’t get off the couch, just crying and confused and feeling so guilty for not being at a traditional 9-5 job. 

Finally after about a full week of misery and job searching I got door to door sales job. It was cool, until I realized all the flaws and how it was not the job for someone like me. I value genuine connections, and when I tried to use this job to make a living and to help people storeowners looked at me like I was evil. Every time I was asked to leave or was brushed off I would stop talking to them. I was building up my confidence and I knew I needed the rejection therapy. The thing is, I am very empathetic and spiritual and I got to the point where I couldn’t look at people’s eyes when they denied me because I saw how they felt about me, which broke my heart. There’s only so many times you can look at someone who thinks you're evil. That job was not at all who I was or am. It was also paid by commission so I made a negative 20 dollars through buying supplies for this job. Despite my circumstances, I made a few cool connections with people and realized just how capable I am. I eventually stopped that job after a particularly bad day. 

You know me, I like to say “You can cry here” but when I was bawling my eyes out that day, I didn’t want a single soul to see me at my lowest. As I was rushing out of the way of a man walking past me, I almost slipped in mud getting away from him in embarrassment. He turned around after hearing me cry, and asked me if I was okay so I answered honestly. He talked to me for at least 30 minutes and prayed over me, something I knew I needed so badly in that moment. By then I was going to church on Sunday and was just realizing the Christian God is real. But after that prayer and talk, my whole day turned around. I have never had an experience with God like that, he was truly looking after me.

It made me see how I was letting people mistreat me and how low my standards have been for myself. He invited me to all these events through the Catholic youth outreach community and I just decided to go. I was at my lowest and had absolutely nothing to lose. I still tried working for myself but had an extremely hard time motivating myself. So I started learning how to lay down my burdens to God and let him take control of my life. Doing that was the most freeing thing I have experienced. He made me feel so seen and I was getting clear messages from him every day. God gave me this feeling of completeness when I called out to him in loneliness. He truly was saving me.

Since then I have been researching about the Catholic faith, and the more I search, the more truth I have found. The people in that community in Corvallis radiate the love of God and it drew me in. God led me to this place and offered the path of light to me, he gave me the choice to step out of the darkness I was in and choose him. So I ran. I felt so much love and energy coming back to God and it isn’t running back to religion. The only reason I am at church is because God told me to go. I have a duty there. I am creating friendships that will foster a strong community in Christ. When I am there God tells me my mission is singing and worshipping that helps others feel open to doing the same. I was created to love God.

Ephesians 3:19 Says “And to know Christ’s love that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. 

Through the vision God gave me, I felt and understood his love. It is unconditional, eternal, and pure. 

John 3:36 Says “The one who believes in his Son has eternal life, but the one who rejects the Son will not see life; instead, the wrath of God remains on him.”

That verse makes me think about how we don’t forgive ourselves and it leads to many hurtles in our lives. If we don’t forgive ourselves, how can we forgive others? If we harden our hearts to the Lord, how can He come in and save us? I used to be a pagan witch and I didn’t believe him. Even then while I was searching for truth, that is when Jesus came to me and showed me the light path. The right path.

Luke 13:3 Says “No, I tell you; But if you don’t repent, you will perish as well.” 

God told me to leave the darkness so I did. I tried to control the relationship I was in but the best decision for me was to leave and focus on God. Now I am married to Jesus, to his word. I search for God every day because even a minute or hour away from God feels like hell on earth. Sin is truly what separates us from love, from God. I do not want to hold back God’s love from anyone and in the same way, I don’t want anyone to go to hell. It is a real place, I used to think it was a metaphor, but it’s real. I am so lucky I am going to heaven instead.

I really experienced God when I took mushrooms and asked for the truth, and Jesus and his light, angels, apostles, disciples and my ancestors were above me looking down. I felt the unconditional love of God and this peace in my soul. I want the whole world to know that not only through my experience, but throughout all of scripture everything points to God. 

“But ask the beasts, and they will teach you; the birds of the heavens, and they will tell you; or the bushes of the earth, and they will teach you; and the fish of the sea will declare to you. Who among all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? In his hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind.” Job 12:7-10

When you expand your thinking through something like what I did in the past, you start to see patterns in the world every day. You can get answers to burning questions and understand the interconnectedness of everything. It showed me how beautiful God’s creation is, how intelligent it is and how God is in everything. Your mindset around the world and your place in it will determine all your next steps, goals and where you will end up.  If you always look at the world like it is dark, you will find darkness. If you search for God, truth and goodness, you will find it. I was merely searching for the truth and out of the blue popped Jesus. He was at my work, in the sky, on my ceiling and loving me through my newly found community. He never leaves us. God never abandoned me.

I am a child of God and he lets me feel that every time I get close to him. Every time I pray or ask for prayer, I am merely a child talking to my father. My soul is safe with him, my God is my refuge. I am so beyond thankful that God told me to go to church again. I am so thankful I took a job that I hated and let a stranger pray over me. I am so thankful I looked up to my ceiling and saw God’s light and heavenly host before me so I could understand he is real, heaven is real and they are looking out for me. I am so thankful that I get to live and breathe on this earth before the day of judgment. My God is a good God, a strong God, a just God. I want you to find him, go speak to him. If you have never felt God, let now be your time. Just pray and ask him to be felt through you, invite the Holy Spirit in and ask for forgiveness, so your soul will be safe with the Lord rather than down in hell. If you think earth is bad, don’t wait on eternal fire and torture to realize it can get worse.  The devil is a friend to none. There is no fear, no hatred, and no death with God. Eternal life through Jesus Christ is a good gift from God and we should not squander it. 

“Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell” Matthew 10:28 NIV

I will pray for you today. Lord, You see the people reading this blog today. You know their hearts and souls, I ask that through this prayer and through you Jesus, that they be saved today. Jesus is Lord, he is risen from the cross and defeated death and sits with The Father in heaven. Lord, be with them and let yourself be known to them. Soften their hearts so they may know you and grow in their faith. I pray they will feel your love today Lord. Amen.

Revelation 21:8 Says “But the cowards, faithless, detestable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars– their share will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”

I am here to not give you fear, but offer you life. 

I hope you enjoyed the message today and got something out of it. I love you, you got this and you can cry here.