Healing

Healing

Being nice to yourself does not make you selfish. Putting yourself first no matter what does. 

After years of abuse and neglect I have finally been brought to a place of peace and rest by God. It is the most eerie and chilling thing I have ever experienced. I feel unprepared to be living such a good life. I still have struggles, but they are nothing compared to what I grew up with and what I have struggled with the last few years.

All it took was coming back to God, being around the right people, shifting my mindset and creating better habits. Reading and education help a lot too. I still get stressed out, but before stress is what ruled my whole life. Recently a coworker looked at me and saw how stressed I was just making rice, and tole me “Breathe” and man was he right. It was like stress was leaking from my body. I used to let all intrusive and negative thoughts hold me captive. The Holy Word of God is helping renew my mind and bring me to a place of inner peace like I have never known before and didn’t realize was possible.

After being called to church I started to see the truth that was in the Word of God. I saw new patterns, truths, and beautiful love from God. I broke up with my boyfriend and God gave me a huge church community. HE started giving me dreams about my future and I felt much more at peace and filled with joy and love. I knew since I grew up christian how to go back to it, I knew how to act like a Christian, and I knew since I was gone for three years I had a lot to catch up on. So I jumped in. I started praying, reading my bible daily, sharing the gospel with everyone, painting for God and asking how I can do his will. But I felt like a baby again, like I barely had legs to walk on. I was new into this spirituality life after so many spiritual awakenings, this was the most bright, most calm and wonderful one. God speaks to me in ways no one else could and it almost feels like I never left, and that is only because Jesus never abandoned me. Even after I betrayed him and worshipped other so called gods. He saw what I was going through and he knows my heart. He knew all I wanted was to do good in this world and find the truth. So Jesus showed up to a pagan witch and I became Christian again. It reminds me of the verse in Matthew 5:8- Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. 

God knew me, he knew my heart and he showed himself to me when I didn’t feel like I deserved it. I didn’t even know he was God, but he came and revealed himself to me anyway. Even after his sheep left his pasture and roamed into the wilderness, he left and found me to bring me home. How good is he for that. 

Satan hates when people leave him, so he fought hard. People around me started to be overcome and even possessed by demons, trying to drag me back down. Luckily I do not fear Satan and with God’s help I was able to simply be kind and keep my distance. He has sent me so many spiritual attacks I had to continuously pray and rebuke him in the name of Jesus to clear my mind and help me to grow. God has helped me in countless ways, blessed my life as to where I live, how I live, who I live for and what I know, how I can help others and be a better person. I don’t even know how to thank Jesus for the wonderful things he has done in my life because it is so good, I feel speechless. No one else could love me like he does. I will live my eternity for him, my King, my Lord, my Life.

I have stopped every witchcraft and magic practice, gotten rid of so many items that I used as tools, books I never read and just started really living for Jesus. Every day I learn more ways I have been living for the world instead of Jesus, and not every day is easy. But every day I receive God’s graces, his mercy, his forgiveness and his justice. Above all, I receive God’s love that is the most perfect, eternal, beautiful and fulfilling thing in all creation. God is love and I will die on the mountain he sets me on, he is my rock, my fortress and my judge. 

I hope you know, that no matter who you are, if you are reading or hearing this message, that I love you. Even if you have hurt or betrayed me, even if you hate me, if you are my enemy, I still love you. Jesus died for EVERYONE, not just me. He has gifted me with unconditional love and forgiveness, it is only right that I extend that to everyone else. Beyond that, JESUS loves you so much! He will not force you to love him, because he is a good good father and always gives us the choice. If you need the grace you’ve heard me speak about, Pray to him today. You can say 

“Jesus, here I am. Thank you for never abandoning me. Thank you for being so loving. Right now I surrender and ask you to move into my life and heal the places I cannot see or understand. Be my Lord, lead and guide me, come Holy Spirit. (Add you petitions here) Jesus I believe in you and trust in you. Do your will God, not my will. I love you, amen.” 

There are so many ways to pray, so many things you can say, but you can always keep is simple and short, always thanking God for his love and work in our lives, and ask for what you need. Remember he is all powerful and can do things we can’t even imagine. Thank you for getting this far today, thank you for your time and I hope you can take something away from this today. May God bless you, amen. Love, Vanessa.