Welcome to my Blog!

Welcome to my Blog!

Hello, I am Vanessa Gardner, a newly born-again Christian who is ready to share my experiences with the world. 

To get to know me, I love Jesus because he saved me from a very destructive, dark path and he knows me better than anyone ever could. My relationship with God has grown so deeply compared to how it was growing up a non-denominational Christian. I talk to God so often, but not only that I am learning how to trust him above all things, all persons, all powers and above myself. 

I used to be a pagan witch. I got to that point after leaving the Christian church due to a very poor Baptist church and deconstructing social media. I started to feel called to witchcraft based off the videos I started to see in my phone and the desire I had to learn more about it. I also felt as if my ancestors used witchcraft because it came to easy to me. I just started by watching videos about being a witch and it took me a year and a half at least to even call myself a witch out of fear. But truly, deep down, my fleshly desires were fighting with my soul desires. My soul desired God, order, love, miracles, truth and justice. My flesh craved easy answers, many gods, confidence, convenience, chaos, darkness, control and sex. 

Even as I write this I can feel Satan’s anger as I expose his ways. He had me convinced other gods existed and chose me, and had been there my whole life. Little did I know they were just demonic and familiar spirits who knew me and my family and knew how to manipulate me. 

I started doing tarot card readings, oracle readings, rune readings, and manifestation scripting. I did spells occasionally but I felt bad at it and felt like they didn’t work, and I had a deep distaste for witches who used spells for dark intentions. I was avidly against baneful witchcraft and believed you should only do magic with good intentions for yourself and others. I wouldn’t even curse about people because I knew the implications of speaking poorly about other people. I bought and found crystals and would wear them to improve my day based on their properties. I read books on magic and especially herbalism. I really loved how people wanted to use magic to heal people and I found myself feeling called to use my power to start healing the world. But before things got serious I always had a soul roadblock. Something would feel off, the desire would rot and I would give up on certain things. For example, I started to do tarot readings for others but as I was offering this to people, I started to question everything I was doing and felt very depressed and I didn’t feel like I was actually helping people. I couldn’t determine if what I was saying was always 100% true because I wasn’t asking God for discernment, which he wouldn’t provide because he does not want us to use divination (it is a way we try to manipulate God and control our future instead of trusting in Him) . It was always temporary fixes for deep pain. I can say I did deal with a lot of trauma and childhood abuse using the tools this type of spirituality gave me, but nothing could heal me like Jesus could. I realized coming back to the faith, that Jesus never abandoned me, he helped me my whole life, and he sealed off certain harmful things to me he knew I could not handle and that would really hurt me later in life. 

The whole time, I kept Jesus’s morals in my heart and really did believe he was one of the smartest and kindest men in history. I would even tell people “I don’t disagree with Jesus, I just don’t follow Christianity”. I blamed God for the choices the church made. I has this childlike perspective on the world where I thought everything was perfect and I was the problem. My trauma definitely played a part in that idea, I was told mean things constantly about myself and I believed them. My biggest regret in my life is betraying and abandoning Jesus Christ, My Lord. I looked for truth in all the wrong places, when he had been there for me my whole life. 

I got to a point in my spiritual journey the end of 2023, where I just wanted the truth. All of a sudden, Jesus started calling me back to him. He had perfect timing, telling me to quit my job, bringing his light into rooms that were once dark, showing up when I least expected him (I was pagan) and he saved me. My life has completely changed the last three months after he told me to start going to church after not going for three years. I started reading the Bible and praying daily. I have developed a real relationship with him better than I ever have. And he keeps blessing me! He is the best thing in my life, My Lord, my father, my love, my hope and my future. Jesus is not just this symbol for arguments or peace, but he is God and he can save all of us from destruction, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I wouldn't write this if it would cause someone else to stumble, so that is why i am sharing it with you. Jesus is the truth, he is the way, and he is the life, he is the light of the world. I only hope you will pray to him and read his words, or at the very least continue to watch my journey as I discover all he has in store for me. Thank you Jesus for coming into my life when I needed you most, amen. 

Thank you for reading and keep an eye out for more blog posts coming your way! Love, Vanessa.